dogs are mean

well, there's only one way to cheer myself up about my frankenstein lip:

IAN'S MOM IS A COKE HEAD!






i didn't think anyone would belive me without photographic evidence. but, it's true. my boyfriend's mom is obsessed with coke. she'll say that to you too - like if she meets you at the grocery store. and she won't elaborate, leaving you to think she's a drug traffiker. and that was only the first floor of the house. it's funny, i love it/her.

evil dog

my parent's stupid dog bit my lip in half on Saturday and i had to get plastic surgery. i did some research on plastic surgery because when i think of that word it makes me think of face lifts and boob jobs ala joan rivers. but apparently it has nothing to do with plastic, and the word comes from greek word "plastikos" which means "to mold". interesting, huh?
well, at least i got me some PERKS!!

UPDATE 7/28/05: gross pictures are above!

stuff x100

i want to get the sad part over with. more bombings, more countries. ohio is next i can feel it.

*well we can at least chuckle at this freak of all freaks who made a little church out of legos, complete with people, alter, restrooms, pulpit, and whatever else is a church.

*this website is awesome all you have to do is type in your name or your mom's name or whoever and it will tell in graph form how popular that name has been over the course of human existance. my name (spelled as "melissa") was #3 in the 1970s and in the 2000s it is #100, and apparently there are boys with my name as well. why?

*i know this is old news, but i find it funny that jacko's mom has banned all children from his ranch, not for the children's sake; but so no more children accuse him of molestation. hmmmm. but it dosen't matter anymore because apparently he's moving to berlin to be immortal! not that i give a shit about that freak, just tryin to warn the kids in europe to watch their backs.

*FYI:
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Gangsta Bitch Barbie. You're tough and you
like it rough, and of course you like to pop a
cap in any wiggers ass.

*ending on that note, i would like to remind everyone to be safe when doing the no pants dance

bye

it's been awhile

but i have some awesome things to share with you:

*find out your real age - answer questions about your lifestyle (eating, smoking, disorders, etc.) my "real" age is 29.6, that's a difference of +7.4 woah!!

*i don't remember how i stumbled upon this website, but it's pretty damn funny
"Rusty, an Aquarius, likes to let it all hang out in the sun and enjoys playing chase the shadow in his spare time"

*speaking of cats (as you know i love cats the most), this commercial was designed by someone that probably stoned - and i love it!

*ever heard of colonix? it's a pretty nasty unnatural procedure that rich assholes do to "cleanse" themselves and "loose weight". whatev. that's sick. i dare you to click here

*i really hope kathy has found her turtle by now :(

*i looooooove mister rogers. he's a goddamn saint. he basically raised me from the tv. this clip is from family guy, and it is sorta funny for me but probably will be really really funny for everyone else. i'm only posting it because it's from family guy

well gotta go be with my loveerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr adios!

if you give a shit about animals

DO NOT USE THE FOLLOWING EVERYDAY PRODUCTS

*IAM'S - you may think of the pet friendly commercials or their nice little slogan "good for today, good for life" when you see this product. but do you think of dogs driven insane from being confined within one space? or shaved rabbits with buring chemicals being sprayed on their bodies and in their eyes? how about dogs that are chained to a table to have their vocal chords severed (because barking dogs are such a hassel) and muscle tissue removed from their body? click here to watch a life changing video - which was recorded undercover during a NINE MONTH INVESTIGATION, and these tests are still occuring at this very second.

*CLOROX - don't forget the FDA requires all manufacturers of chemical/cleaning products to swab the teeth of over 200 mice and then bake their heads in an oven for over an hour. not to mention, your tax dollars are funding this very operations.

*DIAL - the least horrifying story i could tell about this one is thousands of mice dying after unspeakable amounts of soap were pumped into their bodies.

*PFIZER - next time you buy some pain relievers, remember that kittens and puppies are strapped down to receive high impact blows to their heads to "study" head injury.

*i could go on and on and on, but i won't because i think you get the picture. can you imagine living in a cage for your entire life - only to be taken out to have chemicals injected into your body or sprayed in your eyes, or your skin cut open while wide awake...until you die a painful horrible miserable death?? DO NOT SUPPORT THESE MONSTERS

tom cruise is nuts

oh my god every day something new about tom cruise appears. he is such a fucker. he has no idea what people go through, their emotions, their struggles. he has no idea about anything but talks as if he is an almighty knowitall king of all psychology. he's a piece of shit. i do not respect him whatsoever. notatall. never. ew.

stuff and stuff and cats

here i am, trying to find a job. hopefully by the end of the week i'll get contacted. i must have emailed at least 30 employers that had ads on cleveland.com and monster.com. it is a holiday tomorrowwhich sets me back... but if you live in my area and need a good organized sweet ass office worker - i'm for hire!!!!!!!!!

here's some funny shit i've found throughout the past couple days......
*hate mariah carey, not only is she dirty and skanky but she's plastic and brainless. for example she drunkenly poses with disabled homeless men for attention, even when they say they DON'T WANT HER TO... what a bitch
*incase you were wondering what happened to paul from the wonder years
*if you are reallllllly desperate to send your kid to skool - how far would you go? what a freak
*here kitty kitty
*i would be pissed too if i were seated next to the airline shitter
*if i were a man i'd be crying my eyes out
and finally...
KITTEN WAR!!!!!!!